Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
