The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
