There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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