in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
