I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
