I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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