new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
