I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
