I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
