I love having hate sex.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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