also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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