i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
