its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
