I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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