Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
