Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
