Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
