If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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