So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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