I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
