pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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