Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
