I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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