I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
