That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
