I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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