Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Less talking, more tequila
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
