at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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