Me too!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
