i may or may not be watching the land before time
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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