so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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