porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
