Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
