Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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