Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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