i just had sex bonerless
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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