Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
