I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
