One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have demons in me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
