How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
