What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
