her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
