just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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