Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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