if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
