I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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