omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
