My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
