im about as happy as oj after his trial
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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