Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's shark week go big or go home
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
