sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
