# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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