she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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