break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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