How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
