ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
